Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
