wrigley field is MILF paradise
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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