does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
