i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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