ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
