My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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