so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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