that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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