Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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