Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
