So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
