OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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