Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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