hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize