Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
