tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
