He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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