its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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