don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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