duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
