I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
