do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize