If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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