There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
