no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
