the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
