would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wear drunk well.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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