Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
