kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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