Bisexual people are plain selfish.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
