so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
