On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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