somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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