Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize