dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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