Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
