Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize