I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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