operation harelip BJ is a go
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
