Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
