whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
