he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
