Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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