grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
