i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
