So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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