He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
