Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
