in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
