Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
