Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Couch. On fire.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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