i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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