I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
