Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
