I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
