Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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