I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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